full circle

. . .from an upward battle of struggles and emotions to a journey of healing, growth, and laughter. . .

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accidental fading

i’ve had a lot to say but not much energy to say it. the last few weeks have been a blur. nothing bad per se, just lots going on. saw my doc and was pleased to tell her my allergies to the kitties have been minimal. unfortunately, i’d been eating a shitload of junk food, and my blood pressure is a bit high now. i’m supposed to cut out the salt/junk food (which i have started to do) and exercise (not yet {sigh}) to lower it in the coming weeks before my next appointment. yah, i have to get on it. the good news is that last month, i didn’t have any bad headaches and didn’t have to take any naproxen. that’s the first time in two years or more, so i was quite pleased about that, too. i went on the scale a couple of weeks ago and was nearing my heaviest. i’ve probably surpassed that now, so i’m too scared to get on the scale again. it’s shitty to be fat during winter because none of my coats fit, so i look even fatter. ugh. good thing my feet haven’t gotten fatter – i bought a pair of mini-stilettos and two pairs of boots today. that was an accident – i was actually on my way to my hair appointment, and the shoe store was next door, and i was a few minutes early, and. . . well. . . 😉

i’ve had some sad moods at times – partly to do with my friend in australia and his lack of understanding and compassion {we are talking again, but it hasn’t been the same}, and partly to do with T. the longer time passes, the more content i become with being alone, i.e. being without him, but the more my hope fades. some may say that’s a good thing, but i don’t want it to fade. in my heart, i still love him. and no one could ever take his place.

my fur kids are my treasures. aside from the occasional sadness, i don’t feel as depressed as i did in the summer. i have a few days off this week (making up for last month when i was called into work on my vacation. . . twice), and we’ve all been spending quality time together. oreo allows me to hold him now (albeit for only 30 seconds, but that’s still a big improvement). clea is still naughty, but when she crawls into bed with me in the mornings and sets her head on the pillow next to mine so she can have a cuddle, i forget about her naughtiness. tomorrow is my last day off, and i can’t wait to wake up with her next to me. =)

i keep my camera handy – there is always something cute or funny that they are doing. it’s hard to pick a few favorites to display here, but i narrowed it down to 25 (lol), or you can see all of the pix here and videos here.


let’s cuddle

the first weekend after i got the kitties, i let them sleep in my room. originally, i hadn’t planned on it because my doctor said not to because of my allergies. but i hadn’t been reacting so badly, so i thought it would be ok.

my allergies were fine, but i woke up at three in the morning because they were wrestling on my back, lol. then i woke up at seven needing to use the loo. i threw back the covers and started to roll my legs out of bed when i heard myself shriek at the feeling of wetness. clea had peed in my bed… while i was in it!!!

that was the last time i let them sleep in my room with me. aside from not wanting to risk another accident (they are litter box trained), they (especially oreo) shed like crazy. there is always cat hair all over my couch and my clothes from sitting on the couch (which is why i have designated my at-home clothes ‘cat clothes’) – i go through one large, disposable lint brush every week!

the other evening, i fell alseep on the couch, and i woke up with clea and oreo snuggling next to me. it was such a warming feeling that i’ve been “letting myself” fall alseep on the couch more often. of course, last night, i woke up in the middle of the night with clea tickling me with her whiskers as she sniffed my face (which she likes to do when she wants a cuddle), and oreo licking my cheek, eyelids, nose, and ears. i couldn’t go back to sleep because they were right there, loving my face. at one point, i even held my hand in front of my face, lol. eventually, i had to turn away and face the back of the couch, which isn’t very comfortable if you are a moving sleeper like me.

i’ll let myself fall alseep on the couch “just one more time”. heehee.

{this is what they do when they’re not sleeping on my face!}

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more pet purchases

yah, so… i found another pet supplies store, lol… actually, i had forgotten yesterday that i had one more to visit… and it turned out to be the best one in terms of size and variety. i hadn’t originally been planning on getting any cat toys until closer to “adoption”, but they had everything i had read about in my research, so i went ahead and got them today. i also bought a travel kennel. the best part about the store (tisol) is that they said if my cats (“my cats”!!!) don’t play with a toy, i can return it. and the store is within walking distance of my place, so even with all the stuff, i could easily walk home. bonus!

i also saw my doctor today, and she seemed to understand why i wanted a cat – she mentioned another patient of hers who has depression got a cat, too. but she was concerned about my allergies, especially my asthma. she asked if i couldn’t get just one kitten, and i told her that wasn’t an option, lol. i am determined to do this. she gave me my options for controlling my allergic reactions, but ultimately, i’ll have to wait until i get the kittens to see how badly i react.

i had one other errand to run (buy some household stuff for my sister and the kids’ visit at the end of august), but i got sidetracked and ended up buying a bunch of tops. i wasn’t going to buy any clothes until i had lost the weight, but my breasts aren’t going to get any smaller (not yet anyways), so i bought a few new tops that fit.

my last errand took a lot longer than needed, partly because i ended up talking to a woman at length about pets! by the time i got home, it was after 7 pm. and when i woke up this morning, i thought i’d be back by 3ish, lol.

finishing laundy now, and soooooo tired. there is no way i can take and post photos of my new pet purchases tonight. i can’t wait for a good night’s sleep!!!