full circle

. . .from an upward battle of struggles and emotions to a journey of healing, growth, and laughter. . .


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my own private soap opera

{…written for a third-year university course, circa 1996… well, September 16, 1996 to be exact…}

My own private soap opera: who needs television soaps when my life has its own complications?! Anyone who knows me cannot deny that my life is interesting and even amusing. Fate appears to target me with many opportunities to learn about myself and to develop my mental strength. And I must secretly admit that I quite enjoy what is thrown into my path.

For one to begin to know where my personality dimensions are rooted, I could mention that I am first generation Canadian, born in Winnipeg. I could also add that my parents are Bangladeshi, and I have a younger brother, older sister, brother-in-law, and niece. Actually, I could ramble on quite a bit about my family. I could interest you with where I have found my close friendships, such as through the Bangladesh Youth Federation, or through an old heavy music magazine. I could add that my most precious friends live at least three provinces or one country away. I could unveil my annoyances, such as gossip, which I believe to be the result of people who simply have nothing better to do with their time than talk about those whose lives are of no relevance to their own and thus need to get a life. I could also say that I am against organized religion, especially when imposed on others. I could intrigue you with my awe for full moons. I could uncover all that about myself… but I won’t. I would much rather reveal what I consider to be the fundamentals of who I have become.

My purpose in attending university is to learn academically and to get degrees in Communications and Psychology. I hope to pursue a career in media advocacy / public education, perhaps with a focus on youth. I would like to think that with my career choice, I have secured my potential contribution to society. In addition, I hope to be more active in the Vancouver independent music scene as my passion for this industry is continuously fostered by my involvement with CJSF and many musician friends.

My academics is complemented with the co-operative education program. My work terms not only develop my career-oriented skills but also my life skills. I have completed two work terms: one in Hull and one in Toronto. Moving to the other side of our country twice in one year has indulged my love of travelling, strengthened my independence, and forced me to confront such challenges as living in an unfamiliar city away from family and friends. However, it has yet to improve my money management!

I believe that every experience is an adventure, especially when the consequences are unanticipated. Too many people have a predetermined schedule of how their lives are to unfold. I could bet these same people face stress quite frequently. Often, I simply “make it up as I go along.” Flexibility is a wonderful buffer for stress.

This is not to say that I don’t encounter stress. However, I have adopted two principles which help me deal with negativity. One is that I have no regrets. If I regretted the mistakes I have made, then I did not truly learn from them, and my mood or state of mind would probably turn toward bitterness and depression. My second belief is that it is unproductive to spend too much energy on negativity. Deal with the situation quickly and focus on positive thinking. Of course, this is not always my initial reaction to stress, but in the long term, having this belief allows me to maintain my sanity.

I cannot predict my future (well, I can but life may prove me wrong!). I cannot know what my career will be, or where I will travel, or which friends will remain close to me, or whom I will marry, or even if I will do well in this course. But then, the uncertainty and anticipation is half the challenge and half the fun, and I definitely look forward to it!


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i don’t have a dream

Yesterday, I learned that a friend of mine has a dream to move to Fiji and open a B&B. She mentioned it again today, and I realized that I don’t have a dream. I have goals and priorities (many of which I’ve achieved), but I don’t have that one big dream that “one day, I’m going to do.” Come to think of it, I don’t think I ever had that one big dream. Why? I don’t know.

Well then, I guess I’m overdue to create my dream. It definitely has to involve cats (lol)—that’s the easy part. And I always joke that I wish I had space for all the cats we rescue in Vancouver. So, I guess 2 + 2 = 4.

My Big Dream: To own a large property (land) where there is no limit to how many (spayed and neutered!) rescued cats can live. I want to save them all.