full circle

. . .from an upward battle of struggles and emotions to a journey of healing, growth, and laughter. . .


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first world problems

Yes, that little phrase puts everything into perspective. So does the cliché “life’s too short.” While it took me years of severe depression (The Breakup), three months of stress leave from work, and a few years without a man in my life (aftermath of The Breakup), I have learned that you can control only your reactions to negative situations. You cannot control other people nor the circumstances. But you can be a grownup and stop sulking about unimportant things. Life is too short to worry or dwell on something that doesn’t involve your health or ability to live, your family, or helping the community.

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I started writing the above post in December, and I see now that I never finished it. It was about M, with whom I am no longer friends effective May 20 due to unrelated reasons.

 


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me, too

I have lots to say, but the only thing I can write at the moment is that I just found out a few minutes ago practically by accident that one of my favorite bloggers lives in my city!!! I’ve been following her for the last year, and we are so much alike in our mental health experiences (that’s actually the reason I started following her blog). I didn’t know if I was crossing some imaginary internets blogger line, but I posted a comment that I was in Vancouver, too, and we should meet for coffee. Well, she was just as thrilled as I was, and she invited me to a local mental health talk next week. I’m so excited to meet her! And have real offline conversation about our mental health that nobody else would understand.


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when you talk, I listen

When my friends tell me a story, I listen. I’m engaged in the conversation. I ask questions, I give my opinions, I offer advice, I share their joy if they’re happy, I sympathize if it’s warranted. I’m not formulating my next comment while they’re still speaking. I patiently wait until they’ve finished their story. That’s why I get extremely irritated when they don’t reciprocate. I have a few friends like that, but I interact with one in particular so frequently {i.e. every day because we work together} that I’m starting to not want to hang out with her anymore. If she’s not talking about the guys she meets online, then she’s upset with her family or her roommate. {That’s another irritation – bitching all the time.} Earlier this week, she was telling me about another online dating story. When she finished, I said there was only a week left until my trip to see my niece graduate high school, wanting and expecting to talk about how excited I was to see my niblings {my made up word to denote “nieces and nephews”, so that I could use just a single word}. In the next breath, she starting talking about another guy. It was as if she didn’t even hear me. And so, I was stuck listening to another goddamn guy story {she’s one of the two friends I was referring to in timber}. I don’t think I’m going to hang out with her for the next bunch of days before I leave.

And since we’re on the topic, I also hate it when another friend whom I used to work with would text her husband while we ate lunch together. How rude. If you want to spend time with me, then put your phone away. If it’s urgent, he’ll ring you. I often sat there eating quietly while she texted.

Am I the only one among my social circle who values and communication and courtesy? Seems so.


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I think I can, I think I can…

For someone who watches a lot of TV and takes a lot of naps, I’ve been pretty lazy busy and unmotivated to write about my life. And May was even an exciting month, showcasing 31+ days of celebrating my 40th birthday. I threw another fantabulous birthday party and even wore a tiara for the occasion. tiara{I’ve always wanted a tiara, ha! and found one on sale at a new store near work just a couple of weeks before the party}. My big birthday trip this year was to Niagara Falls {why did everybody ask me if I was going to the American side? I live in Canada, duh!}. I’m still editing my photos…well, I edited one out of seven folders, so y’all just have to wait…probably a really long time…because I have three more trips this summer, and I don’t know when I’ll find the time…because I’m so lazy busy.

Last week, I removed two close friends from my Facebook. I was having a particularly bad day—irritated with everybody to the maximum, exhausted from life. I never did determine what caused that rush of short-tempered emotions. One friend posted an old photo that included me at my heaviest. I politely asked her to remove it because I didn’t want that photo of me on Facebook. I assumed she would understand, considering she’s always talking about being fat and needing to lose weight {by the way, she is so thin. Why do skinny people insist on talking about their weight to people who are overweight or obese? Such self-absorbed, inconsiderate biotches!}. Well, I saw that she had read my message but never replied… and didn’t remove the photo. I gave her the benefit of the doubt—maybe she posted that photo and then had to run to an appointment. An hour later, the photo was still there, and our mutual friends were seeing it. I sent her another message asking if she was going to remove the photo. No response. I went to a movie and returned two hours later. She had finally removed the photo. But the damage had been done. She completely ignored my messages—she didn’t feel it was important to acknowledge or respond. Off my friends list!

The other situation was that I posted a link to an article about the new websites at our corporate and regional sites (I’m at a regional site). There were three regional sites (mine was one of them) who were never consulted during development of the new websites. I was pissed off about the article talking about how they (website company) had to keep every regional sites’ goals in mind blah x 3. We were never, not even once, asked to participate. And now we’re having to fit into a template that doesn’t meet our needs. Anyways, I bitched about that briefly on FB, and that other friend emailed me at my work email saying I was violating policy and asking if I was aware that I had directed my negative comments to her. OMG. I did not. And if you criticize my posts, you’ll be promptly unfriended. (Everybody knows that!) And don’t freaking email me at WORK about my PERSONAL social media account. {insert big scream here}

I discovered the most magnificent, most indulgent, most expensive vegan cheese. It’s made in Oregon, and oh, it’s also the most divine and most delish. It was cashew cranberry brie. I can never go back to any other kind of vegan cheese.

cheese1          cheese2


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stop it, just stop it

People who have done me wrong in the past need to stop contacting me years later acting like we’re still friends. Just because you don’t remember what you did doesn’t mean I don’t. I value loyalty. I value loyalty a lot {being a Taurus and all}. Trust takes years to earn and a moment to break. We’ll never be friends again. Now piss off.